The Land of Sleep...Nice Place to Visit. Too Bad You Can't Stay.

After a week of one to two hour bursts of sleep, peppered by Fussy Baby (tm) we seem to have fathomed subtle signs of the few significant issues concerning our daughter: Wet Butt, Starvation, Borborygmus Belly, and the vague but important What, You Don't Love Me?

We now achieve eight to ten hours of sleep per twenty-four hour period, which I'm told is an accomplishment. Hooray. I'm going back to bed.

But that is just how we do it. We wake, change a diaper, suckle, swaddle, and dip back into the sleepy pool for a few hours. Repeat until rested. Mornings start around 1 or 2 pm. But we end the day at 10 ready for bed but not exhausted. I can then accomplish some minor tasks such as writing this journal instead of cleaning the office or making money.

Actually, I'm on paid leave right now, as is Felicity. She's home for a while, but I go back to work in a couple weeks. This new life really fuels my labors with new vigor. No matter what I'm doing, I'm doing it as though Tallulah was watching, at my best for the first time since I met my wife. What a motivator, this little bug we made. She doesn't even know the power she wields. Probably for the best. I'm sure she'll figure it out just in time to graduate driver's ed and request the keys to the Saab.

Before Lula was born, I was terrified at the prospect of raising a girl. What do I know about girls? Dresses, berets, stupid girl games, blah blah blah. Now, I just see my child. Thank god. I was beginning to feel like a real ass. I mean, I still feel like an ass, just one not concerned with the label "Girl." I'm more preoccupied with the label "Father." That, I can handle.

I find myself dreaming of future moments. Rock climbing with her, teaching her to make things from scratch, like waffles or a house, or friends. When I took physics in high school, the concept of potential energy excited me. A bowling ball on the edge of a roof was filled with possibilities. But the abstraction from future event made it even more mysterious and alchemical. I feel the same way about my girl. She's a bowling ball of potential.

Let's go knock down some pins.